7 days after I received that dreaded email I wrote this.
September 4, 2014
I hate you, I want to kick you, hurt you and make you feel what I feel. I hate that you left me, that you gave up on me, that you replaced me, chose someone else. I am worthless. I feel worthless. I say I forgive you, but how do I truly forgive you? How do I forget? How do I start having more good days than bad? How do I move on?
How do I remember my purpose? How do I move on? How do I forget about you? How do I not want you anymore? Stop hating you? How did Jesus forgive the lady who cheated? How do I get out of the fog? How do I live again? How do I stop remembering? How do I forgive you day after day? When will it come automatically?
You lied, you cheated, you left, you abandoned me and my children yet I forgive you. I must forgive you. I cannot live with hate. I cannot live with bitterness, hurt, and unforgiveness. I must move on. Move forward. A new life for me and my kids.