We’ll Skip That Next Time…

Some family and I went to a restaurant to eat supper tonight…

That was a mistake.

Earlier in the day he called me just to say hi…uhh…that was weird.  After a few moments of silence I asked if he wanted me to have the kids call later, he wasn’t too interested.  Did he really call to just say hi?  Why?  That threw me.

My heart tried to skip a beat.  Did he want to just hear my voice?  I couldn’t get my hopes up.  He is not mine anymore.  He probably just wanted to talk to the kids, but couldn’t and pretended he called for something else.  Probably just another scam.  I’de like to believe it wasn’t but it probably was.

Then we went to a restaurant.  A restaurant him and I used to go to.  The restaurant he took me to for my birthday one year and gave me a beautiful necklace, that I lost.  I am terrible at keeping precious small things and that’s a huge fault that probably looked like disrespect and uncaring.  I need to change that.  I may never have a chance to change that, who is going to buy me diamonds again?

We went to a restaurant that we went to with our friends.  That we held hands at.  That we brought our kids to.  That he would bring take-out home to me.

Then my thoughts went to a different restaurant we went to.  A place we were at when we went out of town not too long ago.  When he was possibly cheating on me.  Has he brought her there?  Has he shared a meal with her there?  Held her hand there?  Bought her food there?  Where he secretly left me in the hotel room to go get a drink i’m sure.  Why lie?  Was that really going to lead anywhere positive?

The restaurant was a bad idea.  It triggered too many thoughts.  The thoughts brought sadness.  Thankfully tomorrow is a new day.  Tomorrow is a chance for happy thoughts.  Less triggers.  Triggers I can handle.  Tomorrow is a new day.

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalms 30:5

Joy comes in the morning.

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