Divorce

What does divorce mean?

According to wikipedia…

“Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the termination of a marital union, the canceling and/or reorganizing of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the bonds of matrimonybetween a married couple under the rule of law of the particular country and/or state…..

In most countries monogamy is required by law …

If the family includes children, they may be deeply affected.”

I never wanted it.  Never in a million years.  I saw us preaching side by side one day.  Going to our children’s graduation.  Him leading worship.

Then it became a reality.  He cheated on me.  Wasn’t repentant of it…didn’t change his ways.  I had the divorce people’s phone number in hand.

He called asking me not to do it yet.

But he’s still with her.  I can wait for him to figure things out, but I can’t wait for him to finish his fling.

My gut says leave him.  My gut says he’s not going to change.

It’s never really been in my court before.  I always had it in me to hold on tight, but now my grip is gone.  You left us.  You chose her, and you are still choosing her.  You don’t get much more stupid than that.

I don’t know if I want to fight for this anymore.  Can you stop saying “shit” and start saying “oh my stars” instead?  But most of all can you leave her forever?  Can you?  Will you go to counseling or are you too good for that?  And will you treat us like royalty 24/7?

I just don’t know anymore.

Monogamy is required.

Children may be deeply affected.  Separation affects them, not just divorce.  A fight affects them not just divorce. Sometimes I have to keep reminding myself and hearing the voices of God, my mom and friend that my daughter will be ok.  She will be ok. I so wish I could save her this grief.  I really do.  What is really better for her?  What is better for me?  Either way I’m the one that is raising her….she will be ok.  God is a big God.

Father, be with my children.  Protect them.  Keep them from harm, both physically and emotionally.  Put your strong arms around them and let them know how much they are loved.  As their father is away don’t let them go without.  Let them know the love you have for them.  Let them feel the intimacy they need to grow strong and healthy.  Let them know how much you pursue them.  Show them how they deserve to be treated.  Show them how a man should act.  Teach me too Lord.  Teach me how to love them like you love them.  Teach me how to serve you with all my heart.  Teach me to be loving and caring.  Let me see people through your eyes God.  Let me see my children through your eyes God.  Sometimes with all these emotions and all this stress it’s hard to give them all the affection and attention they need.  Help me fulfill their every need Lord.  Help me to be the best mommy.  The mommy they need.  Fill our hearts with your love so that we are a family totally in love with you and so that your love oozes out of us.  Be it with a father or without, let our family be whole and well and healthy, lacking nothing.  I thank you Lord that you always provide, you never leave and you always take care of us.  You are all we need.  You are always with us.  I love you my heavenly Father.  In Jesus name Amen.  

Help me to forgive also Lord.  

3 thoughts on “Divorce

  1. I am so sorry for your pain and this awful, awful situation your husband has placed you and your children into. Reading through your blog and the events as you describe them, it has occurred to me more than once that the primary reason I think he does not want you filing for divorce or even a legal separation is the issue of support. Formalizing your marital status and his departure from your marriage puts the courts into motion to protect the interests of your children and ensure he provides for them at a very minimum. While he may want to abandon his responsibilities to you and your kids, the law will ensure he does not do it.

    Please be kind to and take care of yourself. My heart breaks for you and your young family.

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  2. I was touched by this story and your willingness to turn to God, even in trial. I think it shows a lot about a person’s character when they remain faithful through times of stress, turmoil, doubt, and suffering. It is not an easy thing to do. God loves us so much. He is our Heavenly Father and He wants us to be happy. I am thankful that we have the opportunity to have trial and hardship – because I know that’s how we can learn in this life. I am even more thankful that we can turn to God and He will relieve our burdens. Why do you think we have to go through hard things in this life?

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    • I appreciate this. He does love us so much. So much that He gave us choice and there is a devil who rules this world at the moment. That is why we go through hard things. Everything good is from God. Not good isn’t from Him :). I’m so thankful that He loves us no matter what we choose.

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