Living a separated life from you.

Living with the ending being divorce so as to not let my heart get broken again.

Living reminding myself that you are probably with her so as not to get my heart destroyed anymore.

Living trying to remind myself that it’s over…not unless, not what if, not hopefully.  I just can’t let my heart soar anymore in regards to this situation.

“Unnecessary Complication”

I’m listening to a sermon from Elevation Church (awesome and you should listen!).  He is talking about unnecessary complication.

My life is very complicated.  How do I live like it’s not?  How do I keep myself from being complicated?  From causing more complications?

It’s really simple actually.  I must live like we are not getting back together.  If he wants to get back together he has some work to do, but must just keep bettering myself to be the perfect person.  I will never get to perfect, but I must keep learning and growing and becoming the best single person I can be.   Whatever happens happens, but this is my life now and I must focus on myself.  If someone else wants to step up and be the man God has called him to be, good.  If not, I’m not going to let it affect me anymore.  I am me.  I am the only person who can change me and I am the only one who can choose to live my life.

I cannot wait for his text or call.  I have to train myself that it’s not going to come and if it does good, but expect it not to.  I know this sounds grim, but sometimes you have to protect your heart.

I have to put myself first right now.  I will grow by reading and listening and learning.  By realizing my mistakes and learning from them.  Focusing on what I like to do and doing it.  Becoming better at the skills that I have and learning new skills.  Becoming more confident and independent.

As I focus on becoming the person God has called me to be God will take care of everything else.

God will steady my heart.

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