Right when I decide to get confidence, when I start this train again and decide to keep pushing forward and attain my goals no matter what life goes crazy.

Husband emailed me saying he’s struggling with life and hating himself and all gloomy.  Which makes me wonder what is really going on.

The kids are going nutty.  3 is back on “no” and not doing a single thing I tell her too and is the ultimate pest.  It’s amazing what  even 6 months does to kids.  The growth that occurs and I can now see such personality differences between 3 and 5.  Before they were similar, couldn’t really tell a difference, but now 3 is clearly the clown, the active one, the gutsy no boundaries one, the pest…needing to irritate the person she is by for her own entertainment.  She was making her brother scream and yell “go!”  all while laughing hysterically in her cute raspy laugh.  Needless to say the past two days she’s been an overflowing handful!

Then son sheesh the poor thing, three times today he’s cried…I mean the I hurt something bad cry.  Two I have no idea what he did as I was not in the same room and one he smashed his face to the babies carseat getting a bloody nose.  And now he is limping.  A one year old limping…I feel and probably look like a horrible parent!

Life has gotten tough.  The devil must know I’m going forward and is trying so hard to stop me, but I won’t be defeated that easily.  I can successfully be a single awesome mom, I can successfully work a job, I can successfully be in ministry and I will own my own home.

No owies, no sketchy derelict husbands, no wild children, no exhaustion, no family drama, no  is going to stop me from getting my dreams.

Although it’s very frustrating waiting for him to call.  Come on man step it up again.  I let that go.  I forgive him and I give it to God.  I may not trust my husband but I trust God.  In God I trust, God will take care of me and it all.

I love you Jesus!

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