Great Big Bag of….poop

Holy blizarding snow!

As it blizzards on the outside inside I feel hollow.  Depressed, bummed…more like disappointed.  Disappointed in what life has handed me.

I will forever be respectful of single parents.  It sucks.  We were made for a team.  Eve was made to be Adam’s helpmeet.  Not Eve being the head, the leader, the helper, the provider, the caregiver the everything.

Not being all out in love with someone sucks too.  Not trusting the person who was previously the most important person in your life sucks too.

Shoveling, taking an hour to get to an errand, paying customs on a package you already payed shipping on…disappointing.

I’m just disappointed with the cards I’ve been handed in life.  I told God this while shoveling yet again.  I was given a great big bag of suck.  But He also reminded me that it wasn’t His plan.  He only wants good things for me.

Husband said he was proud that I working and doing stuff and said it’s hard getting up and going to work every day.  Excuse the language but that’s a load of shit.  You haven’t kept a job for more than a year.  You abandoned us.  You have eliminated my choice to be a stay at home mom, unless I want to live off the government the rest of my life and not provide our own home or vacations for my children.  You have removed that choice that I wanted so bad.  You forced me into this position by leaving us.  Disappointed.

I’m just disappointed in this great big bag of ..poop I’ve been handed, but it’s not what God had planned for my life which means that He can turn this into good somehow.  For now I will keep trudging, stomping, and fishtailing through this very hectic life and try to enjoy the little things.  Tomorrow is a new day.

3 thoughts on “Great Big Bag of….poop

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