Let There Be Peace

“Let there be peace on earth”…I really enjoy that darn Glad commercial.

Love his voice…love the song…or at least the portion of the song that you hear ha ha.

I really wish more for peace in my family though…how can we have peace on earth when there isn’t peace in your family?

My children’s lives are about to be tore up again with daddy coming and I hope it’s not for nothing.  I’m hope it’s not fruitless.  I feel like they are about to be picked up shaken around and then expected to be plopped right down again and continue living normally.  Why isn’t daddy staying? Why do you talk so much on the phone again? Why are you holding hands? Why isn’t daddy staying?  When is he coming back?  Are you going to be married still?  I can foresee all the questions and it breaks my heart.  I don’t want to mess with my children’s hearts.  I want their life to be easy and simple and carefree and most of all hurt free.  But I’m about to deliver more pain to them and it makes me so stinking sad.

This week with him better decide if it’s going to work or not.  Because if it’s not I can’t bring him back here.  Yes they need their daddy but it’s not possible for him to be part of their every day lives while he’s over there and it will bring so much pain if it’s not going to work and they keep hearing me talk to him on the phone like I do.  Flirting and saying I love you.  If it’s not going to work it just needs to stop so I can help them heal.   But somewhere deep deep down I really do want it to work.  Somewhere deep down I want that man that used to hold the doors for me, who wrapped his arms around me, who I thought was perfect to be my husband and to be my children’s dad.

Let there peace in my family, let there be peace in my family.

Heavenly Father, 

I come before you as your daughter.  I need to ask your forgiveness Daddy for not spending enough time with you.  I’ve failed to read your Word lately, I’ve failed at going to you first, I’ve failed at putting you number one in my life.  I thank you for forgiving me.  I thank you that your forgiveness is endless.  Teach me to forgive like you.  Father, I’m hurting, I’m scared, I’m in pain and I feel empty.  Fill me up again with you.  When I’m filled with you I will always be full of hope and joy and peace.  As the visit of husband quickly approaches bring peace to my children.  Let their hearts to be still and soft, but protect them too.  Keep us all safe from any attempts of the enemy.  Keep us safe from lies and deceit and unsafe places.  Give the kids and I wisdom.  Protect my husbands heart.  Give him wisdom and discipline and show him how to be the man of God he’s called to be.  Lord I’ve also been struggling with imagining other men in my life.  Men who seem better.  Men who I see being good dads.  Lord, my relationship is not over with my husband, it is just going to get me in a bad situation please help me fall in love with my husband.  Help me keep my imagination at bay and don’t let me go searching in places I shouldn’t.  I am married until the day I sign a divorce paper and I will be a woman of integrity and faithful forever.  Lord help me.  It’s so hard to not want more.  I love you Daddy.  I know you have my back, please show me that you do.  I’m believing for a miracle and you are the miracle maker.  Show me love in numerous ways.  In your Son’s holy name Amen!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s