Still Alive…barely

It’s been a week and one day since I picked my husband up from the airport.

I’m not really in the mood for talking.  I’m at the point of no sleep, exhaustion, no want for food and just existing, but I managed to get half a bowl of cereal down this morning.

It was the funnest most passionate weekend probably that we have ever had.

Saying that it’s also the worst of my life.

After months of calling me three times a day and saying I love you constantly and sending me gifts and notes I catch him face timing “her” in my own house.

I enjoy my time with him, he cries, I cry…atleast half the time we are crying and he apologizes profusly.  I say goodbye, he says don’t say goodbye.  I say goodbye.

He gets home and I get a text saying “I finally know what I want”….

A little late.

I cannot divorce him until I’ve been here a year…so April 29 I will be filing for divorce.  In the meantime I can start the custody paperwork.

If he really truly wants me he will do whatever he has to to get here and he will cut her out completely which I will have no way of knowing, but he won’t.

Today is the first day I am not answering his phone calls.

It sucks.  I started his box of his stuff that I am going to tuck away in a closet.

Please no “I told you so’s”

My life sucks right now.

Dear Lord help me.

6 thoughts on “Still Alive…barely

  1. No one could have told you this would happen, it’s up to the other person to make the decision that they need to. You have a lot of support from everyone here and we all know that you put in a titanic amount of work. If he chooses to ignore that effort than so be it. I know that you will be able to get through this, I will be praying for healing and strength. Better days ahead, even if you have to crawl through the crappy ones 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Be selfish once and for all. Ask for maximum of alimony and sue for affair and loss of income due to looking after 4 children. And see if his other woman can tolerate the measly income, don’t take him in at all until he has to break free.

    Remember the Holy bible will condemn any man who commit adultery and you can rest assured on the judgement day everyone has to be accountable. My mother was cheated and only realized the adultery on the death of my father (when I was only 11) and she never remarry and raised my sibling and me singlehandedly. I have personally seen how good He is and was to us through the early years and up to now.

    So just Pray and He will answer and definitely will take care of you just like he takes care of us.


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